The pursuit of happiness is one that brings at least 45 million people to Google every month, according to Self Help Daily. This data was gathered in 2012, so the number is likely to be even higher today.

Around this time of year, the hype of New Years resolutions is fizzling out, and restrictive diets aren’t bringing the happiness they were believed to. But what still remains is the desire to find happiness.

So, how do we do it?

Well, it’s not found in focusing on all the things you DON’T want, or the things you CAN’T do.

“I’m going to stop drinking so much.”

“I’m going to stop eating junk food.”

We need to become more in tune with what’s truly important and fulfilling to us. Start listening to yourself. What have you been avoiding thinking about? What have you been putting off? What passion have you been dying to give yourself permission to explore?

Acknowledging the areas we’ve been holding ourselves back and not acting in ways that are genuine to our values is a huge step towards lasting happiness.

Here are 5 simple but powerful ways to do this:

1. Stop pursuing “happiness”.
2. Identify areas you’ve been holding back.
3. Do more of your favorite things.
4. Give yourself the freedom to fail.
5. Make decisions for you, not others.

1. Stop pursuing “happiness.”

The typical experience of “happiness” is a very temporary and fleeting feeling. It truly is more a feeling than a state of being.

Think about this: Just as soon as you’ve bought that new outfit, or finished that latte, or moved into your dream home, you’ll find yourself looking for the next new thing. This is because our sense of “happiness” is actually found in the anticipation of how we will feel once we attain a certain thing.

If we expect to find happiness in things and things alone, we will be unhappy a lot of the time.

Instead, start viewing happiness as what is meaningful to you.

If we start prioritizing the things that make us feel in tune with who we are and what we want out of life, then we can be “happy” even when our circumstances are not perfect.

2. Identify areas you’ve been holding back.

Are there changes you’d like to make to be more in alignment with who you are, but you’ve been hesitant in taking that step?

Maybe it’s something physical and easily identifiable, like getting your first tattoo, or piercing your nose, or changing your hairstyle. Or maybe it’s a shift in values that’s been eating at you because you know it requires a change.

When you can be honest about what you want and be accepting of your own desires, it becomes easier to make small decisions that will make you happier. You may find that it wasn’t as scary as you thought, which will give you confidence to be more bold in the future.

3. Do more of your favorite things.

It’s easy to put our own interests on the back burner when there are so many things in life that demand our time and energy. If you are feeling unhappy and unfulfilled, you are likely not taking time to do what’s important to you.

You’ll know what these things are because they creep into your mind when you’re stuck at work and wish you were elsewhere. What do you daydream about doing?

What activities have you sacrificed because you’re a mom now? Or because you have a mortgage and work two jobs and don’t have time?

The great thing is, you don’t need to commit hours at a time in order to feel the benefits.

The increasingly popular concept of Hygge living suggests that just staying in the shower for 5 more minutes, or slowing down to really enjoy a meal can make a serious impact on our enjoyment of life. These activities are not traditional hobbies, but the idea is the same. Many people achieve the same effect through yoga or knitting.

Hygge living is described as “a way of life that requires slowing down and becoming more conscious of what is going on in the present moment — very much a practice in mindfulness.”

The Hygge craze has really taken off after being made popular in the book “The Year of Living Danishly: Uncovering the Secrets of the World’s Happiest Country.” Considering the author’s self-proclamation as writing from “the world’s happiest country,” it seems Europe’s got a grasp on happiness that we can learn from.

Following their lead, remember that taking time to be mindful of what makes you feel relaxed and in your element is a key step towards being happier.

4. Give yourself the freedom to fail.

If you never make mistakes, you aren’t trying many new things. Coming to terms with the possibility of failing will allow you to be creative and grow rather than play it safe.

Guest writer Ron Burr, of Entrepreneur.com, puts it this way:

“One who fails a lot, we could say, takes a lot of risks. It’s important to separate the events of failure from the personal characteristic of being a failure.”

Recognizing that failing at something isn’t the worst case scenario will free you to try things. Sometimes it only takes one decision to take a risk and put yourself out there. You may experience a complete change of perspective. Your may be empowered in your abilities or feel a positive shift in how you define yourself as a person. This type of self discovery leads to greater happiness.

Take the next step! Dig up that idea that you’ve always discarded because it wasn’t “practical” or because you believe you “missed your chance” or you “don’t have time.”

Don’t let the fear of failure or getting outside your comfort zone keep you from discovering a part of yourself. Being yourself is a big key to happiness. So get after it.

5. Make decisions for you, not others.

Do you tend to overthink decisions because you worry about what others think? Perhaps you procrastinate making the decision that you know is best for you because you worry about judgement or negative feedback?

Getting stuck in this type of mental turmoil will not bring you closer to a happier life.

Psychology Today contributor, Marcia Reynolds, Psy.D, explains it like this:

“Often “should-motivated” people become resentful and fatigued because they are constantly doing what they think they have to do rather than what they choose or want to do.”

Sound familiar?

You might be conflicted because you don’t want your decisions to negatively impact anyone else, and this is not bad or wrong in itself. It’s important to keep in mind, though, that making decisions based on what you perceive to be best for everyone around you can result in your own fatigue and resentment, as Marcia Reynolds says.

How do you start making better decisions for YOU?

Take the “I should” out of your decision making and start asking different questions:

“What is important to me?”

“What would I do if I had no obligations or people to please?”

“What dreams do I keep coming back to?”

Start there and see if this change in your decision-making process brings you more fulfillment and happiness.

You matter. So start acting like it, friends.

~Dani