Ladies-

There are so many references and jokes relating to wine and mom-hood.

It has clearly been a trend on social and entertainment media platforms. I recently tried an episode of the new show, Single Parents, and I was amused by Leighton Meester’s line about how single parents are usually getting through the day just waiting for an acceptable time to start drinking wine.

Yep!

I know the feeling, and you probably do too.

Even as a new wine drinker myself, it speaks to me. Maybe I’m late to the party, but nevertheless, I’m intrigued by this idea that wine is the drink of choice for mommas. I can attest to the fact that just the idea of having a few sips of wine at the end of the day is appealing, even if it doesn’t happen when you finally make it to that point. It’s a nice, happy place kind of thought that comes up from time to time when I think about relaxing in the evening. There comes a time when you need some taste variety, if coffee is the primary fuel keeping you going.

Because I happen to be one of those moms who only drinks wine, if I drink at all, I’m already sold on the notion of it being the “mom drink.” There’s no unhealthy intent to dissociate from my life; I simply enjoy the taste and the space of relaxation I’ve associated it with. It sounds like it’s the same for many other moms; and if we’re the ones doing most of the wine drinking, I’m fine with fitting that stereotype.

If the wine glass fits, right?

Before sharing the positives of this link between moms and wine, I will say that there is a MOUNTAIN of negative content that comes up if you Google anything related to moms and wine. Apparently, the joke about moms needing their wine or waiting for wine time is not always a joke, and many people feel the need to speak out about alcoholism. This post is in no way promoting unhealthy drinking. I’m speaking about the majority of mothers who always put their kids first and would never abuse drinking because that’s not an option to them. The ones who work their butts off every day to provide and make sure everything and everyone is taken care of.

No mom shaming going on here.

Most of us can enjoy a small glass of wine now and then without it becoming a problem. So, the topic here is why women gravitate towards this drink.

Perhaps it’s because moms are natural caretakers and being health-minded and responsible is in our built-in mode of operation. As far as drinking goes, wine seems to be the only alcoholic beverage that has any positive effects associated with it, so props to moms for trying to take the healthier route to unwinding.

Here are a few key points that are more relevant than discussing whether there are health benefits or not:

1. Wine represents “Me Time.”

It’s the link to our “happy place” as moms. We associate a glass of wine with “me time,” which means no kids and no responsibilities and no need to answer the same question 14 billion times and try to come up with a more creative way to say “no.” (Because we all know that the word no is not as self-explanatory as it seems like it should be when you’re dealing with a little person.)

It’s not about getting drunk or checking out from our life, it’s about relaxing and doing something that is just for you. This could be watching a show, reading a book, working on a side project that you’ve looked forward to having time for; anything that is about you and not parenting.

This type of self-care is important, and a lot of moms neglect it. If wine is the device that helps mothers to be able to mentally clock out of their job for a little bit and remember who they are as an individual, then I think that’s a win.

2. Wine represents a psychological mood boost.

It’s mental motivation to make it through the day. Some people look forward to watching their favorite show when it comes on, or playing a video game, others look forward to when they can sip on a little Merlot uninterrupted, and just enjoy being done with the tasks of the day.

As far as motivation goes, there are worse devices a person could resort to. Even Ben Franklin seemed to have this one figured out:

Who would have guessed that the man flying a kite during a thunderstorm would be an advocate for the psychological benefits of wine?

If you think about it, giving yourself something positive to look forward to is a preventative stress buster. Cortisol is the stress hormone, and when you’re tense and stressed out, cortisol levels are high. Our thoughts are linked to our feelings, so when we focus on the relaxation we feel during wine time, we are being proactive about combating anxiety.

Women have a hard-enough time trying to manage hormones, so it seems constructive to make it simple from time to time. You’ve probably heard a version of the saying “You are what you think.” If thinking about making it through the day and enjoying a glass of your favorite wine is enough to put your mind in a happier state, that is as simple as it gets.

William James, American philosopher, psychologist and trained physician, puts it this way:

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”

3. Wine represents prioritizing your relationship. 

This could be your relationship with your significant other, or with your inner self. The “Before Kids” version of you deserves to come out once in a while. This doesn’t mean crazy and uninhibited, it means taking a few layers of stress off. Even if you don’t consider yourself stressed, there is probably a baseline of hyper-alertness and constant planning that you don’t even notice until you have enough time to realize you can shut it off.

Consider this: The same way that anticipating being in this space of calm provides a mental boost of motivation, it can also represent a deeper purpose because of who you are spending that time with.

For a lot of women, wine time is shared with their husband, so this creates a space of coming together at the end of their busy day. It’s not really about the wine at all, it’s about what “wine time” symbolizes.

If you’re single mom, or just find that you usually spend your chill time by yourself, this is fine too. This means you are probably even more dialed in to the importance of “me time” and making time for your health via self-care probably keeps you ahead of mental and emotional breakdowns.

“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” 

-Chinese Proverb

There is a lot of truth in this quote. The Chinese have a good point.

We need to slow it down and stop focusing on everything we should be doing and give some self-love to the amazing people we are already. Relaxation is IMPORTANT. It allows us to re-set and have some perspective.

Whether it’s wine or something else, make it a point to relax more and prioritize your self-care. That’s the real message here, ladies. As much as it might sound like a joke a lot of the time, the concept of wine being a mom drink is about more than the wine.

Take care of your health, mommas.

~Dani